How did I become so Consistent
If you've watched me on social media for sometime now you would have notice I repeat the same goals day in and day out no matter my mood. You will notice the only time I miss something I would be in hospital. Also, if I've missed one goal, because I'm like a headless chicken I'd pick it up the day after. I do not believe in cheating the grind.
Was this trait always in me? I'd have to say no. I would never ever describe my strength with being consistent. However, I would describe myself as resilient. I guess the two naturally compliment one another. For example, my teachers told me in School, "I would be 16 and pregnant. Going nowhere with my life, waiting for my job seekers allowance at 18". And I was just stubborn enough to prove them wrong. I was resilient against my "so-called" future and I worked my last two years of School like it counted! I was always overlooked as I certainly wasn't the smartest student, but I did what it took. I finished school with 3 A's, 5 B's and 3 C's. I did better than anyone expected of me.
I didn't have the hardest time in College. The teachers were actually a lot better to me. Well there was one day my law teacher threw a book towards my face, but we made up after that. No one ever told me I was made for Greatness. I think at the biggest push of the imagination if I became an Accountant I would have excelled everyone's opinion of me. My Dad always told me, "It's not what you start that counts, but where you finish". Oh wait, I forgot my good old Mathematics teacher which pushed me to the point of asking to quit Mathematics. I couldn't even get a C. My head of year gave me double Mathematics lessons and switched teachers. My old Mathematics teacher had a biased view of my capability due to where I came from. It turned out she was extremely wrong. After smashing hours and hours of past papers I turned my D into A-A* star. Overall, after probably 15 resit exams during College I had ABB. My first true love boyfriend happened in my first year of College and if I didn't get the grades I needed to get into Cardiff. I would of had to move away to Swansea.
I didn't see the possibility of turning BBCC into AAB mind! Until I went to Swansea Open Day and a posh brat with his father pushed infront of me. I waited there 20 minutes and the lecturer just let him do it. THAT PISSED ME OFF. I told my friend there and then I would not be going to the University. So I worked 12 hours daily and got IBS. Still I didn't see myself as consistent just resilient.
Arrived at university the only valleys student on my course. I had comments such as, "You should loose your accent". I had friends who cheated off of me and stabbed me in the back. Who sabotaged my grades or took my meetings with lecturers. The lecturers was like oh well can't see you now sorry. So again my resilient switched flipped on. I out worked him! I can tell you one thing is for sure I certainly wasn't naturally smarter than him, but that's the thing about naturally smart people. They are lazy! Which allows hard working average people like myself to take over. I wanted to quit in the library after a solid 14 hours, but I saw him there. I glared I would not be outworked. I worked day and night to beat him and so I did. No one fucks with me!
Remember the boyfriend from college? Well we were on and off like a light switch after our 1.5 year anniversary. He was the making and breaking of me. He broke up with me not just during one exam period, but two. I was so in victim mode blaming him for why I would fail University. Again my resilient switch came on! I listened to Rocky's speech to his son and I couldn't bare to face my future children telling them I wasn't where I wanted to be, because of some loser that was 20 years ago. I WAS NOT GOING OUT LIKE THAT! I studied like I've never studied before. I mean day in and day out. Timetable, social media accounts deleted and suitcase girl 7 days a week. Due to my hard work even the Chinese students took me into their inner circle. They educated me on their ways of working. As I was the English speaking student I would take all the notes and share them with the group. We all did a subsection of each subject and shared on their intranet.
It was during University I found out I was dyslexic. The teacher pitied me saying, "How hard it must have been for me". It was her I pitied. I had a learning difficulty and I was going to do better than her. Again it all lite a fire to prove everyone wrong and me right. I had 45% in my second year from having a mental breakdown after my ex boyfriend broke up with me. I didn't sit 4 exams and the 2 I did BOMBED. I had my final year to turn it all around. And surely I did... 2.1 baby 60%. Not one mark more or less and I gave it my all. Still I didn't realise it was consistency, it was my resilience to prove them wrong and give them the BIG FUCK YOU.
That was it for some time. I came out of University with that Rocky attitude. I knew my worth and I was going to get my worth. Safe to say my ambition scared a lot of people. Until I was lucky enough to meet a man who was more resilient than I was! He wasn't intimidated by me at all. He probably saw me as a challenged to beat. He wouldn't accept it as my weakness and I now thank him for that. Looking back it was actually my greatest strength. However, again the Naysayers came.
It's difficult to decide the hardest part of my life. Whether it was University where I had suicidal thoughts or during my working career where I knew I would make it, but I didn't even want it. My life was like an Eastenders Christmas episode. Not just one ex boyfriend at work, but a second. My whole life was falling a part in-front of me and I hated everything about it. I took responsibility for my life and I wanted to not even give a big fuck you to the haters, but just survive. Just to walk away to the life I deserved as it wasn't even worth my time! Again resilience came into it again. That fight in the dog to do whatever it takes to survive.
If you follow me on social media you would have watched my journey from a girl with one goal to just be happy to a woman with dreams, legacy and LEGEND goals. In just the space of two years. I can't say I knew consistency was in me. Its been resilience all along. It's been all the laughter from the haters and all the hurt I've received. I'm determined to hit my full potential as I know I have more and no one will define that. Not even my limiting beliefs. And during the journey I realised that resilience can transfer into consistency.
So what can you gain from this? If you see your resilience in the above example anywhere. Then that means you as well have the consistency trait within you. You just haven't tapped into the right goal to achieve it or should I say the right resilience. Let the pain and hurt mold you. There's nothing better than a fuck you moment! Prove them wrong and yourself right! You'll be surprised how one day adds to another and so on. I won't ever stop so I guess that's why I'm as consistent as I am. I only realised this after 2 years of execution. I didn't wake up one day thinking, "Oh I'll be consistent. I woke up thinking FUCKING TRY ME! BRING IT BITCH!" with tears streaming down my face.
So if I can, you can! Just take a day at a time.
P.s let me know what you thought in the comments. You can always hit me up on social media or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Sorry about my gramma, but I hope you got the message.