Depression is Part of the Process
When you are going through depression and loneliness it feels as if you are in a storm you will never escape. Even logically you know you will, because well you must. It’s an inevitable outcome and you will continue to live another 40-60 years. But you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then oddly a year later until someone reminds you, you remember that dark period of your life. You aren’t sure when it happened or even how you did it, but you escaped.
This was my story to tell when I first started to achieve more back in December 2017. I was growing so quickly isolation came fast. It was naturally going to with my over achiever go all in attitude. Recording in the gym at 3am and no days off mindset. I didn’t know what dream I was even fighting for back then. I just knew I had more in my tank. I knew I had potential I didn’t yet hit. I knew I hadn’t hit my mental or physical limits yet. So I showed up every day until I hit them and I never did. No matter how much depression came I was unstoppable. It didn’t freeze me in place even if on Christmas Day I was crying. I kept crawling forward as I knew I didn’t want my old life. I wanted change and the new actions I created gave me that.
My old Netflix and chill self didn’t know what fucking hit her. My old we wake up at 6am as I’m better than the average was like… FUCK! The 4am alarms were introduced and a why created. My why to be the best version of myself. I can remember the new isolation I felt. I can remember this new vision of having even more than I already had no one around me understood. They all thought I was being unrealistic and I felt extremely misunderstood. It was a dark place, but I knew it was the place I needed to be.
To where I am now today I couldn’t thank my past self for not giving up no matter how lonely it was. People see me on social media and don’t realize how much depression I’ve experienced. So this blog is for those starting or for those hitting that depression stage. I got your back as always.
Please understand that if you experience depression and loneliness you my friend are on the right path. You are breaking the old you to become the new you! Those motivational speeches will no longer motivate you. Those words they speak will become your life. It will scare you how now you can relate to them all. Please never think, because you are experiencing negative emotions you are on the wrong path. If anything, if you aren’t experiencing negative emotions you most definitely are on the wrong path!
It’s not easy becoming more and wanting more than the settlers of the world, but you can’t back out now! Follow the course. Be completely selfish and repeat your daily goals no matter hell or high water. You will make it and I’ll look forward to greeting you on the other side.